Everybody Loves Raymond

“I’m an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard.” 
— a character in the short story The King in Yellow, by Raymond Chandler 

Reading the signs

I swear I thought the ad in the grocery store said “Discover Poopability” because it was one of those ads posted on the floor of the store and I was looking at it upside down.  It was actually “Discover Poppability” with respect to Snyder’s Pretzel Poppers.  I should’ve known; I wasn’t in the pharmacy section.

I’ve got to be sure to give a good co-worker review of Emily; she’s the only one in the office who can stifle a yawn while I’m speaking.

Interpreting that memo from Human Resources was like looking at an Escher print. 

When you sit down in the haircutter’s chair and she starts in with the sharp instruments and you smell alcohol radiating out of her mouth, that’s not a mandatory cause for alarm, is it?  It worked out OK.