Reasons George Bush didn't mention New Orleans in his State of the Union message last night

* Mission Accomplished in 2005! Don't dwell on old achievements.

* People without electricity should learn to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, regardless of nationality.

* Sure, hurricane Katrina caused the "costliest natural and federal engineering disaster in American history" but it's doodley-squat compared to global warming.

* And global warming is a myth.

* They don't have TVs down there anymore; what they don't know won't hurt them.

* They're breathing the sweet air of freedom in New Orleans; they owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude.