What is it about politicians and diners?

Dick Armey, former U.S. Congressman, granted an interview with National Public Radio (broadcast Oct. 16), in which he chose to take questions while sitting in "a Texas diner." Again, this was a radio interview, and the setting was irrelevant to the topics. Nevertheless, Armey believed his opinions were best heard with dishes clattering in the background. (Link)

In 2004, Dick Cheney was campaigning in Green Bay, Wisconsin at the Golden Basket Restaurant. According to the waitress, he brought and ate his own food (for safety's sake), but still felt the need to talk about terrorism where other people were paying for a hot meal. (Link)

On a related note, the 2005-2006 Congress typically met two or three days a week, and "is set to finish its tenure with the fewest number of days in session in our lifetimes, falling well below 100 days this year" according to a nonpartisan research institution. (Link)

You can already see the solution: When the House and Senate install facilities for short-order cooks on the floors of their chambers, legislators will be enticed to come back to work, overseeing federal spending over a nice meat loaf.

Mistaken identity

I was walking home from the grocery store when somebody honked at me from a parked car. Two short beeps from a Jaguar. As I got closer to the car, the glare from the windshield slid away to show a large black Labrador Retriever sitting in the driver's seat. When I got up to the car, I saw that he must've honked the horn with his chest by leaning forward. He realized I wasn't who he thought I was, and stared straight ahead like I wasn't there.

Blessed event

I read things here that I had never read before about home pregnancy tests. (Link) Wowee! It reminds me, I've never seen a greeting card that congratulates a couple for a negative pregnancy test.

Just got the news
You're over the moon
You might have a kid
But not anytime soon!

I've never had any use for home pregnancy tests, but it would be fun to go to the grocery store and buy ten different brands of condoms and ten pregnancy tests, just to tell the cashier I'm "conducting some experiments."