Ben Bernanke says

"Investors sent stocks modestly higher Friday after a speech by Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke failed to deal with interest rates, soothing concerns about a possible resumption of rate hikes." -- Forbes.com, August 25, 2006.

"Do you think this tie is too wide?" -- Ben Bernanke in men's apparel at Filene's Basement. Result: Silk exports decline from countries throughout Asia.

"I think I'll have the Big Steak Omelette with extra bacon." -- Ben Bernanke at the International House of Pancakes on Wednesday. Outcome: Beef and pork futures opened moderately higher on Thursday.

"I finally heard that 'Hey Ya' song today; that is one peppy tune." -- Ben Bernanke in the car pool after work. Effect: OutKast's label's parent company, Sony, sees its stock drop five points.

"Does this chain saw cut through living human flesh without a lot of splatter?" -- Ben Bernanke at Home Depot on Friday night. Upshot: Black and Decker higher by 3.56 on the New York Stock Exchange.

"So, Dr. X, this is the pill that will transform me into a flying werewolf with death-ray-eyes who wears silver lederhosen?" -- Ben Bernanke at a secret underground laboratory in upstate New York. Repercussion: Pfizer Pharmaceutical up 6.25 on the Big Board. Acme Textiles unchanged.

"I guess I just want to be loved for who I am." -- Ben Bernanke at the latest meeting of the Federal Reserve Board. Reaction: Big hugs all around.