Paint a picture with words -- The Smart Kitty Way!

I have to refer my reader to the first paragraph of this post from Smart Kitty. (Link 1)

OK, one more: (Link 2)

Nat "King" Cole's lost song

Undemonstrative, that's what you are
Semi-secretive though near or far
Like a perfume shpritz that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more

Quiet and withdrawn in every way
Stifling a yawn, all night and day
That's why it's so positive
That someone so undemonstrative
Thinks that I am undemonstrative too

No never before
has someone been more

Shy and reticent in every way
Mum and diffident, that's how you'll stay
Strange to be so talkative
That someone so undemonstrative
Thinks that I am undemonstrative too

Donaldpalooza

Donald Fagen and his band played a great show with force and precision at the Chicago Theatre last night, leaving the crowd wanting more. I especially liked the way Donald stretched out the line from The Nightfly, "I wait all n-i-i-i-ght for calls... like... these."

Almost every familiar song had new solos, but the surprise came on Third World Man, when the two guitarists, Jon Herington and Wayne Krantz, copied Larry Carlton's weepy guitar solo straight off the Gaucho album. I took this as a gesture of respect to Mr. Carlton. The mix of Donald's and the backup vocals was beautiful on this one too.

On the new song What I Do, guest musician Howard Levy was imported from his (almost simultaneous) show at the Green Mill jazz club to play solo harmonica, doing an excellent job just as he did on the Morph the Cat CD.

The set list included songs from The Nightfly (Green Flower Street, The Nightfly, New Frontier, The Goodbye Look), Kamakiriad (Teahouse on the Tracks), Morph the Cat (Brite Nightgown, What I Do, Mary Shut the Garden Door), Steely Dan songs (Home at Last, Black Cow, FM, Third World Man), and two covers: Jack Teagarden's Misery and the Blues and Chuck Berry's Viva Viva Rock & Roll.

A win-win for family values

"We have over 100,000 women and over one million men incarcerated in state and federal prisons across the country. While they are in our custody, we have the opportunity to pair these men and women into the life-affirming and stabilizing institution of marriage. Many will be willing. We will grant these newlyweds a temporary amount of time and privacy within prison walls. Shortly, they will bring the blessing of new life to earth in the form of thousands of babies every year. Please understand, we realize the mothers and fathers won't be available for the responsibilities of parenthood, but the government will be ready. The newborns will be pro-actively detained in humane nursery-cells because of their criminal ancestry. Of course, anyone who would oppose this plan is guilty not only of opposing the Culture of Life, but guilty of being soft on crime."

-- A congressman, next year

George Miller

"At my age, I may not always be able to satisfy a woman, but with my attitude, I can always get her out of the mood." -- George Miller (died 3/5/2003), on Late Night with David Letterman, around 1986

Omnidigicom loves you

So the CEO sends out an e-mail to all employees recommending a "very important" book he's just read, and it's all about CEOs outsourcing U.S. jobs to countries with cheaper employment costs overseas. He loves the book, and this explains the new software our company has just acquired. It opens by asking the user which of ten languages it should use before starting work. Now we can send our company's jobs away without having to buy new software.

Before today, I would've thought this kind of question about what language to use, coming from a software company, was only intended as an advertisement, along the lines of "See How Versatile We Are!" It reminds me of some ads from the 1990s in which a huge corporation would announce that their holdings were now so diverse that they sold you macaroni, cigarettes, radial tires, and marriage counseling. This was intended to give you a warm fuzzy feeling because the benevolent corporation had only your best interests at heart, whether you were eating, driving, or in bed with your spouse. It wasn't that creepy, was it?

Back to work: I'm adopting a faint Indian accent when I answer the phone, in case it's upper management calling, so they'll think that they've already outsourced my job and therefore they'll leave me alone. (Actually, I've already started to advance my education again, which is one good option if your job is in jeopardy.)