Theater student? Or just high?

About 5:00 pm on the Red line subway a young man stepped on the train and gave out a loud but obviously fake sneeze. He was a little shorter and thinner than average, with thick glasses. He projected his voice to the entire car as he said, "Aha! Perhaps I startled you, with my loud sneeze? Perhaps I made you jump! Because I sneezed so loud!"

A couple people muttered to him to shut up, and he responded by yelling repeatedly in the direction of the driver, "Help! They're trying to KILL ME!" The driver was in our car and we hadn't left the platform yet, so he walked back and talked to the troubled youth. The driver asked him to leave but the young man promised to behave. By now the Red line trains must've been stalled for miles behind us while our train's driver dealt with this distraction. The driver returned to his booth and the train moved forward. The young man, quieter now, left in a few stops.

I may be losing my sense of humor because I was in a hurry and while the little guy was begging for attention, I considered walking the length of the car back to where he was. I believed that I could have bumped him out the door without taking my hands out of my pockets. I think he would've thrived on the drama though, and I'd have been turned into the clueless sap with a Tom Green wanna-be.