You know the feelin. Every guy's had it. You're unbeatable. Unstoppable. You got that walkin on water feelin. You look, they smile. You win, they go home. It's a feelin you get every day with the world's best shave -- Mach 3 Turbo. It's like havin an angel by your side. Every move is smooth; every word is cool. I never wanna lose that feelin. (chorus) Gillette! The best a man can get!
While the voice spoke, 40 images flashed by in half a minute. Here's how they broke down, although they didn't appear in this order:
9 images of athletes: basketball, track and field, etc.
5 of a man shaving
5 of a woman dressed as an angel
4 of a man and woman together
4 of a man's face close-up, shaving
3 of the Gillette logo or Mach 3 Turbo logo
2 of the razor close-up
2 of a man performing on stage
2 of a man falling or zooming through space
2 of a man in a suit in an urban setting
1 of a woman's face close-up
1 of a running man bursting through a wall of masonry (whee!)
Two of the athlete clips were of a young Muhammad Ali. One of the Ali images (boxing in the ring) was briefly interrupted by one quick frame of a female hand, cupped, palm up, in front of what might've been white silky fabric. Maybe this was another allusion to the angel, who must've been by Ali's side while he was whomping on that other boxer in the ring.
On first hearing, I wanted to amend one of the statements in the voice-over so that the man intones: "You look, they smile. You win, they go home... unless you're playing Monopoly at their house, then you go home."
This ad must've been created by the same agency that came up with:
"Kleenex Brand Facial Tissue -- it's like bein blessed by the Pope."
"Eggo Waffles -- it's like havin a little Saint Martha poppin out of your toaster."
"Dove Moisturizing Body Wash -- it's like takin a soapy shower with the Reverend Al Sharpton."
Earlier in the year the idea from Chicago Sun-Times management had been that people would be more likely to buy the paper if they could see the day's front-page headline prominently displayed on the vendors' vests. They may not have anticipated headlines like that one about more ugly news in Iraq.
Nixon, Nixon, he's our man
Humphrey's in the garbage can!
Although I was unaware of the two candidates' political differences, I knew how to spell Nixon, and that made him more of a known quantity than Humphrey, whose name I couldn't imagine how to spell. So I was comfortable with the chant, and politics turned out to be pretty fun.
Finally, just before lunch, Humphrey gave a concession speech and it was over. Our state of Illinois had just determined that its electoral votes went to Nixon, which gave him enough votes for the presidency. David Broder wrote about it (the election, not my first-grade class) in the Washington Post the next day.
The 2009 album by The Postmarks.
E-mail to billmccluskey at hotmail dot com